Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A day I need to remember

Today was not a particularly awesome day.

I woke up later than I'd planned, to another gloomy morning. 

There were too many meetings at work, which is normal but often mind-numbing. 

I had to do a couple of pretty not-fun things at work related to sales and thorny vendor relationships.

My email inbox is overflowing.

It's been thunderstorming since 3pm.

I'm not done with my Christmas shopping.

Yet, oddly, I feel great.   Here's a confession; I worry a lot about mood swings, based on family history and my own morbid imagination that ponders if, as a 35-year old single girl living in the marriage-focused, generally conservative mid-South, far from family, the Red Sox, the ocean and adequate snow removal equipment, I'm not a candidate for therapy.  I really want to project a calm, easy attitude in all aspects of my life, but it's not easy, and I'm not successful as much as I'd like to be.  So when I face a day like today, and come through it feeling good, if not downright chipper, I have to stop and take stock of what's changed.

And thus we arrive at the crux of why I need this blog entry today.  The only thing that's changed?  I have 3 days of eating well and exercising behind me.

***cue cymbal crash***

Now, I'm sure scientists (if they read this blog) would tell me I don't have enough data to make this causal connection.  But since Monday, I've eaten all but one meal at home or via a packed lunch.  I've stretched my walks with Sadie (in the dark!) so I'm getting at least 1.5 miles a day.  I've filled my fridge and cupboards with "good" snacks, decided I can get away with half a turkey sandwich at lunch (with guacamole instead of mayo).  I've taken my vitamins, eaten just one handful of mixed nuts as a snack.  Given away (nearly) all my Cookiefest cookies.  Not eaten after 8pm.  These things may seem small, but they add up.

And yikes!  When listed like that, those are a lot of bad habits to break at once.  

Then this morning, I was building an outfit around some new boots I'd purchased.  And suddenly, I spotted a skirt that, years ago, fit me great.  And then a shirt that I'd worn last year, but hated because of how it just didn't fit. Slowly, tentatively, I pulled them out of the closet.  I tried on the skirt...it fit.  Ok, sure, we can attribute that to the magical powers of tights to trim the tummy.  Then the shirt.  And...holy crap.  It fit.  Without the straining of buttons I remembered.  Then I put the boots on (wide legged knee boots, the only kind I've been able to buy), and...gasp...they are almost too big around the calves. 

If you've never really worried about your weight (and I mean really worried, as in if I don't do something about this I'm endangering my future worry) you can't understand how good these things feel.

And how quickly your good mood can change. 

That's why I think it's important to remember days like this.  Days when things don't go well, and it doesn't ruin everything.  All the books say that, when you eat right, you will feel better.  They ALL say that.  And yet, it's so easy not to.  And then wonder why you are snarky and sensitive and grumpy.

There's no guarantee that tomorrow I won't be back here, writing rantish blog entries that I never publish because I might offend people. 

But for today, I just had carrots with yogurt dip for a snack.  I'm only eating one piece of pizza tonight at trivia.  So for today, bring it on. 

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